A Day in the Life of John

Here is a typical day as a 3 month old...

7 am: Wake up with some poop caked onto my butt. Mom has to scrub it off with a wipe while I squirm on the changing table. I give her a couple good smiles before I start to fuss because I am hungry! I haven't eaten in about 10 hours since I sleep all night long now!

7:15 am: First feeding of the day! I am so excited that I attack Mom's pretty hard and she let's out a little cry, trying to pry my mouth open. I am stronger than her though and she gets used to it after a minute or two. After about 10 or 15 minutes Mom stops to burp me which I HATE so of course I need to cry and tense up my whole body so that I am standing on her lap while she tries to get out a burp by pounding on my back. Finally she wins out, although if I am lucky, some milk comes up too and gets all over her lap! Switch sides and repeat process.

7:45 am: Done eating. Start smiling and cooing while playing with Mom.

8:00 am: Pee in diaper.

8:15 am: Get diaper changed and Mom tries to get me to sleep. Should I cry really hard today or just fall asleep quickly since I am tired? Tough decision.

8:30 am: Finally asleep. Decided to cry just a little to make Mom feel good about the day. I will work up to crying later in the day!

9:15 am: Start grunting and making noises as if I am waking up. Do this just as Mom is falling asleep since she thinks that she has another 30 minutes until I get up. Fooled her!

9:50 am: Wake up for real and get diaper changed. Throw Mom for another loop and poop all over changing table and curtains! The cover needed to be washed anyways and I didn't care for the curtains all that much.

10:00 am: Have a second breakfast. Don't feel like crying during burping this time.

10:20 am: Smile. Coo. Tummy Time.

11:00 am: Diaper change. Mom changes me into 'real clothes' instead of the pajamas that I have been in all night long. FINALLY!!!!


11:15 am: Mom tries to rock me to sleep, but that never works. She finally just puts me in the crib until I get sleepy and start crying. I wait just long enough for her to walk to the living room and as soon as she sits down, I cry. I have learned to time it perfectly!

11:30 am: Asleep!!! But I did throw in the 'sleep in Mom's arms and cry when she puts me in the crib' routine a couple times for good measure. She loves when I do that!

12:30 pm: Start to wake up. Mom comes in and changes my diaper yet again. I pee A LOT! I start cooing, smiling and talking to Mom and then screaching. She thinks it is cute!

12:45 pm: Lunch time!

1:15 pm: Poop big time in diaper! It is loud enough to wake up Gracie the cat who ignores me all day long. It also is really stinky.

1:30 pm: Get dipaer changed again. The Mom loads me up in the stroller and we take a walk. It is nice being outside although I just stare at Mom the whole time I am awake. After about 15 minutes, I fall asleep. Spend the rest of this nap in the car seat which is way better than sleeping in my crib.

4:00 pm: Wake up, Mom changes diaper, start screaching again since I am learning how to make noises instead of cry, I eat an early dinner.

4:45 pm: Finally Dad comes home so I have someone else to play with. I love Mom, but all day long I have to look at her silly face! Dad plays with me for a little while before I get swing time. I fall asleep.

6:30 pm: Wake up. If I time it right, Mom and Dad will still be eating dinner so I get to interrupt that. Get my diaper changed and then have my second dinner!

7:30 pm: Dad tries to put on my pj's and do our night time routine. Our night time routine goes the same way every night: lullabyes or Dad reads a book, quiet time in Dad's arms with pacifier, then I start to scream my head off b/c I don't want to sleep, fall asleep on Dad's lap, wake up when he puts me in the crib and cry, fall asleep in Dad's arms again, cry when he puts me in the crib, Dad gets frustrated so Mom has to take over and she rocks me to sleep and puts me in the crib. Usually by now I am tired of this little game and just stay asleep. I mean, I have been going at it for TWO HOURS! I must get my beauty rest!

10:30 pm: Give a little 'wake up fake out' where I start to make noises that I am hungry at the same time Mom starts pumping. But I give her a break and go back to sleep until the morning.

Man, it is good to be a baby! :)